40 Worthy Life Lessons I Learned by the Time I Was 50

Time flies by… did I learn anything in the last half-century?

Photo by Anne Nygård on Unsplash

Due to the pandemic — my 50th birthday passed with little fanfare. Instead of a party, I was ruminating about what I had learned in the last half-century and started writing. Maybe I was doing a bit of self-analysis or therapy? This article took me a little longer than I expected — many thoughts were written down and discarded. The forty that made the final edit are below. It’s my first attempt at a possible “self-help” article, and I hope it at least generates a chuckle or a bit of reflection.

1. Learn a mechanical skill — My father used to fix our cars and build almost anything. I should have paid more attention when he asked me to help, but as a kid, you heard the neighborhood playing outside and wanted to be elsewhere. Little did I know how much money I could have saved!
2. Interest works for your money — The investing rule of 72 applies here — divide the annual expected return by 72, and that’s how long it will take to double your money. If you can have a sum of money that you can keep in reserve, it’s surprising what you can accumulate over time with the help of interest.
3. Love someone, something — Love a person, a pet, a favorite sandwich — something you can believe in. Skip loving money and power — they won’t love you back.
4. Get a pet — I had a dog when I was very young (1–2 years old), and that dog passed away. As I grew up, I found out I was deathly allergic to pet hair (dogs in particular), and we never had another pet. Through the miracle of modern science, better allergy medicines allowed me to have furry pets in my later years, but I would have got a pet sooner. Even if you have a lizard or a spider, it teaches you to be responsible for something else at a young age.
5. Learn not to be afraid — Everything is uncertain in this world, but I feel if I would have spent less time worrying about what could happen instead of just quelling the fear and moving forward. These days I analyze why I’m terrified and dissect what the worst outcome would be, which is irrationally afraid.
6. Help the less fortunate — My wife and I give to charities, but I know many people out there are in a worse position than we are in life. We’ve been consistently delivering more every year, and I hope we can someday make an enormous contribution that could help a wide range of people in need. Giving back helps with your sense of well being.
7. Never stop looking at life from the perspective of a child — I know this may sound kind of silly, but kids can show you the solution to a problem or a way to look at the world that you never thought existed. As we get older, we fall into the trap of using comfortable patterns and don’t look at the wide range of options or take the more adventurous route. Of course, hearing “Are we there yet?” for the 1000th time can get kind of old… but are we truly there yet?
8. Buy land — “Buy land, they aren’t making it anymore.” — Mark Twain. I’d have to say that this quote grounds me like a lightning rod — having a place where you can go to think without any distractions is a blessing. Even if you buy a 10’x10’ plot in someone’s backyard and put an outhouse on it to get away — it’s worth it.
9. Take the good qualities from your parents and leave the bad — We’re a product of our parents (whether you know them or not). Through your formative years, you pick up traits that you keep for the rest of your life. The undesirable qualities are easy to cultivate since they flow from the id, which channels the instinctual desires. The ego is the rational side and is harder to grow and maintain. The ego will serve you well later in life, and in my experience, it will help you find “true north.” Learning to distinguish which traits are helpful and which are not as you grow up can only benefit you.
10. Travel more — When you travel, you get to see unique things, talk to interesting people, and get an enhanced view of the world. Travel doesn’t need to take you around the world to be beneficial. Traveling in your state, country, or even across town can give insight into experiences that can enhance your own life.
11. Move somewhere you want to live — People may have debates over this one. I’ve lived in Chicago and Minneapolis for half of my life — and I grew tired and was miserable due to the long winters. You’ll notice that you gravitate towards warmer climates or the nearest space heater as you grow older. My migration to the south — away from the cold of the north — occurred 14 years ago. After I moved, I realized that all that work, stress, and hardship during those winter months could have been avoided. Some people love cold weather and the experiences it brings, but it was my move to a sunnier locale and the change in climate that helped my disposition.
12. Be more outgoing — Speaking of sunny dispositions, I am a natural introvert. I like solitary activities. However, after all these years, I had a revelation that if I had just stepped out of my shell a bit more, I would have been able to have much more fulfilling relationships and deeper friendships.
13. Remember that your boss doesn’t owe you anything extra (money) — The most significant conflicts in my career were over money that I “thought” my boss owed me. It may have been a commission on a sale or a bonus (Christmas or otherwise), and when I didn’t receive the extra funds, it clouded my judgment and poisoned our relationship. The small gains I may have pocketed ended up costing me in the long run.
14. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth — It’s an old adage, but it holds true. When things are going well, or the chips are falling your way — don’t push your luck.
15. Always call out lurking danger even if you think other people will see it — We are all blissfully unaware until danger strikes. Some people can sense irregularities sooner than others. I’ve been called “the canary in the coal mine” since I seem to know when events are lining up that may do irreparable harm. But my most significant contribution to the situation is calling out to people who don’t have the foresight that trouble is coming.
16. Cherish the time you have with your elders (talk to them more) — My grandparents on my mother’s side were always close to my parents, and I spent a lot of time with them. I spent a couple of weeks during the summer with them in the three-bedroom house in Chicago. During this time, I had an opportunity to learn about their lives and background. My parents then moved my grandparents from downtown Chicago to a house around the block from where we lived since they were getting older and couldn’t care for the home in the city. I’d go there after school since I was a little young at the time to be a “latchkey kid.” These days I spent at their house after school was quality time that I had with my grandparents, and I learned about money, famous classical music composers, and how to be a better human being.
17. Pay off your house early — When I turned 40, I picked up a book called “Mortgage Free” by Rob Roy. An interesting point in his book was the origin of the word “mortgage.” The word comes from an old French term — “morgage” or “mort gage,” which literally “death pledge.” This book spurred me to pay our house off early. I don’t follow Dave Ramsey, but he probably says the same thing. Becoming “mortgage-free” by 49 helped us get clarity with our money and flexibility for any life changes ahead.
18. Just leave bullies alone — Did I mention I was an introvert? Well, I also have a dry sense of humor that may backfire when engaging with people that penetrate that veneer. When I was a kid, I should have ignored the bullies and just went on with life. Going home to watch the “Banana Splits” and “Spider-Man” was a better choice than being a punching bag on the playground.
19. Play more sports — My parents were highly protective of me and didn’t allow me to play many sports for fear that I would injure myself. To be fair, as a child, I was beset with many ailments, was uncoordinated, and wasn’t a prime athletic specimen. I missed out on some team building and cooperative play that impacts someone throughout their life. My parents eventually allowed me to join the swim team in high school since there was little chance I would injure myself in a pool of water.
20. Keep that car that’s running fine for longer — I’ve only had two cars my entire life, and I’m still driving one of them now. I bought my first car for a high school for $1,000 for a part-time job but traded it away for a vehicle my grandparents were giving up. That car could have lasted longer than it did, but I thought a Caprice Classic was better than a Cutlass Supreme. The first car I ever bought after college was a Nissan Sentra SE-R, and I drove that for 16 years. It could have lasted another 5–7 years, but I traded it in for a used Camry. I still drive the Camry today — not having car payments is almost as good as paying off your house.
21. Get a job that keeps you physically moving — Most of my life, I’ve had desk jobs, and it does take a toll on your body. Poor posture, repetitive motion injuries, and varicose veins are just a part of the troubles I’ve had throughout my life. I’ve taken steps — literally — I’ve tried to walk/get up from my desk many times a day. But I wish I would have had a more active lifestyle, but I guess it’s the cost of being a nerd.
22. Always use your “library voice” — My friend used to be a professional singer, and she mentioned to me that I “project” my voice, and I would have been a great singer if I wanted to be (if I could hold a tune). The side effect of me projecting my voice is that I’m usually louder than I want to be, and I have to remember to use my “library voice” consciously. Also, my voice ramps up when I get excited or passionate, and it doesn’t do any good in any situation to have voices raised. Keeping an even and quiet voice has done wonders to calm people and assure them that things are under control.
23. Stop and smell the roses/slow down — When I was younger, I was always in a hurry to “get somewhere” or “be somebody.” I never slowed down and thought — “Hey, this is kind of cool — let me take all this in.” Then you realize after a few years that you wish you would have lingered on those moments of achievement for a while longer.
24. Say what you mean, but remember to be cordial — I’ve found that most people don’t want to hurt your feelings and try to beat around the bush when a sensitive subject needs to be discussed. When you manage people, these discussions happen more than you would like, and I’ve worked on being empathetic when these moments come up. It’s a skill that needs to be cultivated and developed over time.
25. Get to know people better — I always thought water cooler conversations were people just wasting time. Over time I watched better managers, and they engaged people frequently and helped them form a healthy rapport with their co-workers. Knowing their families, likes, and dislikes and getting them up in the morning was something as a manager I had to learn. As an introvert, I had to make an effort to try to make friends on a personal and professional level.
26. Never gossip — Everyone has a juicy piece of gossip, right? Well, that piece of news should always be kept to yourself. I’ve never had a good experience when I gossiped, and I was still displeased when people talked about me. I just stopped doing this altogether and discouraged people I worked with to do the same. It kept teams better focused on the task they needed to perform and didn’t clutter up the channels with unnecessary rumors.
27. Stop looking backward — Keep going forward. You can’t change the past. I’ve had multiple “what if” discussions throughout my life, and you can’t revise history. All the baggage that you drag along with you isn’t worth the headspace it takes up.
28. You’ll eventually like things you hate — When I wrote this I was thinking about food. As a kid, I used to hate tomatoes, peas, and bananas. As I grew older, my tastes changed, and I enjoyed these foods. I still just tolerate bananas. But this analogy can apply to almost any situation — even liking the opposite sex (or same-sex if your preferences run that way).
29. Ignore social media, you’ll be happier — I’m going to sound every bit of my fifty years at this point, but we didn’t have social media when I was a kid. People get wrapped up in other people’s lives and opinions to the point that they don’t know where their ideals start and where someone else’s thoughts invade their everyday thinking.
30. Nearly everything has raisins in it — Unfortunately, this is just a statement. There isn’t any divine wisdom here. I hated raisins (see point 28), but I found out the resistance to raisins is futile.
31. Exercise regularly — Making 10,000 steps is my usual goal every day. However, I usually do some sort of physical workout every day (strength training) for at least 45 minutes in addition to my step goal. You may ask when I fit this all in — I usually get up at 4:30 am to do the first 45 minutes of working out and space the walks throughout the day. People typically think I’m crazy for waking up this early, but it’s the only time I can guarantee that I’m not on email or working. Plus, it feels good to accomplish something early in the morning.
32. You will fall for at least one scam in your life — A majority of the time, people are honest. However, when you least expect it (and usually at your weakest point of self-resolve), a “deal” will appear, and without question (and better judgment) — you will take the deal. You will lose money on this “deal,” but it will make you wiser and more aware of scammers in the future. But it has to happen just once.
33. Take care of your teeth — Kind of an odd bit of advice, but I never knew how much pain I will physically be in until I had issues with my choppers. Your tooth is a mass of nerve endings under a bony shell. Once that is penetrated or damaged, you are in for a world of hurt. Brush and floss!
34. Laugh often, even at your own mistakes — Laughing releases endorphins, which are chemicals that make your brain feel good. Laughter has other benefits and is known to relieve stress, burn calories, and boost the immune system. But if you can laugh at your own mistakes and shrug off failure, that is how to handle life and reduce stress.
35. Never try to keep up with the Joneses — This is a big problem for most people, including myself. When you see something that is new, bright, and shiny — the mind wanders, and you think, “Wait, why don’t I have one of those?” These “gotta have it” thoughts are some of the biggest problems for any American. We’re a society that’s built on consuming and having the latest gadgets. Entire books have been written on the premise that self-control when it comes to spending and living within your means.
36. Find out what kind of drunk you are early — There are funny drunks, annoying drunks, and angry drunks. Which one are you? If you are an angry drunk — well, you can always improve that disposition when you are intoxicated. As for the funny drunk — just make sure you aren’t one of those annoying drunks.
37. Read as much as you can — Warren Buffet reads corporate reports and newspapers five to six hours a day. Most of us don’t have that amount of time in our day, but most of the time, you are reading email and not reading for knowledge. Set aside some time to learn and possibly read about something new.
38. College isn’t all it’s cracked up to be if you are an artist — I may be offending some parents who saved all their life to send their kids to the right college. College (at least to me) was a socialization experiment since I went in as an artist and graduated with a BA in graphic design. If you are an artist — you should practice your art, find people in the real world who can help you get better at it, and learn from them. Then forge your path.
39. Be empathetic — This goes hand in hand with learning about people and what makes them tick. If you can put yourself in their shoes and feel what they feel — then you can grasp what they are going through when discussing topics with them.
40. Learn when to cut your losses — Everyone likes to win, but people can get in over their heads trying to turn around a situation that they just can’t salvage. It may be in regards to money or a relationship. When you think, “I can ride this out…” then you have to set that point of no return, and when you reach it, the eject button has to be pushed. In my experience, it will harm you far more to deal with a situation that is toxic than it is to leave.